Friday: Hair Drama

Honestly, I could not even write about this when it happened. It was just too soon to even begin to think that it was remotely funny, and I'm not sure where to begin even now. Do I start with the cat, the mice, the sticky, the inevitability of my son being able to made a serious mess or my deep deep hair vanity?

I will start with the mice and the cat. (Our cat is named "The Beast" and will heretofore be referred to as such.) When we first acquired The Beast (who earned her name honestly, but that is another story), it was solely for the purpose of catching mice. We are a working family and do not believe that any of us gets a free ride; pets included.

We had mice issues, and we agreed to feed The Beast and allow her to sleep at the foot of our bed in exchange for mouse eradication. A rodent free life is not too much to ask for in 21st century America, right? Anyway, in her heyday, The Beast was a stone cold KILLA. Three mice was a slow day; 5 mice and a couple of moles was average. When mouse season ended, it was lizards and snakes. For whatever reason, this winter, The Beast is slacking. She has just given in and mice are starting to emerge from their hiding places and risk death at the hands of our newly acquired mouse traps and glue pads.

The traps are in the cabinets and the glue pads are behind the television. Ivan has strict instructions not to go behind the television AND we have barricaded his access with obstacles akin to the Berlin Wall at the heigth of its power.

Well, believe it or not, on Tuesday while I was making Ivan's tasty grilled cheese for lunch, I heard a whimpering and feet stamping from the bedroom area. When I sprinted to the back bedroom to check the commotion, there was Ivan with BOTH hands stuck to a mouse glue pad that he had crawled over the barricade to get to. Both hands stuck fast in mouse glue (thankfully, no mouse included). He was so scared and that mouse glue is hard core. He could not remove his hands.

I was able to get both hands off the glue pad, but Ivan was still upset, so mother that I am, I picked him up to comfort him. When I picked him up, HE GRABBED MY HAIR WITH BOTH HANDS. HE GRABBED MY HAIR WITH BOTH HANDS. Mouse glue pad glue all in my hair. I mean really. REALLY? As soon as his little hands touched my hair, it seemed that time stood still while I watched all the time and money and hi-lights I put into my hair swirling down the drain at warp speed.

I was able to disengage his hands, though I lost two small clumps of hair. I attended to Ivan and was able to remove most of the glue from his hands with several warm water washes. Then I went to work on my own hair. After washing and drying, I combed carefully and cut what absolutely would not untangle and soothed myself with the thought that my hair appointment was only two days away.

I am going to be OK, but ultimately, I BLAME THE BEAST.