Saturday/ Sunday: Home Again

So yesterday, Ivan and I loaded up the portable DVD player with a Calliou video and his Halloween costume and headed off the Birmingham to visit my sister, attend "Boo at the Zoo" and the Junior League market.  Now, "Boo at the Zoo" went really well and my only complaint about Birmingham's "Boo at the Zoo" was that there were no animals to speak of.  We did see some sheep, goats and some rather lively chickens.  I guess, however, I can see how you might keep the wilder animals in on an evening when the zoo will be overcrowded during nighttime hours with rambunctious children.  Even if they are caged, there no seems to reason to incite jungle beasts.

Now, behavior-wise, "Boo at the Zoo" was a real triumph.  Ivan genially wore his giraffe suit and was entranced by the carousel and some of the carnival games that "Boo at the Zoo" had set up to amuse in the light of the absence of the animals.  Caroline, Jeanna, and I had a great time.  We took Ivan and Rye on a train ride and then left to have dinner and of course I ferreted out a self-serve frozen place (32 Degrees) to get a fix before we headed home to put everyone to bed.

After the success of "Boo at the Zoo", I had really high hopes about lunch and our attendance at the Junior League market in Birmingham.  It was all most unfortunate, however.  During lunch, Ivan roamed the restaurant like an untrained dog.  All attempts to have him sit down were met with violent disagreement, and he was eventually toted off to the restroom to receive "consequences".  He howled on and off until he was offered a piece of chocolate cake which he pulverized with a fork before eating as quickly as he could.  We asked for checks quickly and bailed.

We rode Ivan's sugar rush all the way to the Junior League market where things went south pretty quickly.  Ivan allowed himself to be strapped unhappily into his stroller where he rode the elevator and was wheeled about unhappily (but contained) in his stroller.  While he did grab every Christmas ornament that we passed, and while I did feel that I all I said to anyone in the Junior League Market for the next 15 minutes was "I'm so sorry" as Ivan grabbed at things from his stroller, things seemed to be under control.  I eventually found a lollypop and gave it to him, and felt that things were going well, even.

Everything spun out of control when I FOOLISHLY made the decision to release Ivan from his stroller so that I could have him try on a furry little coat with sheep ears and a sheep tail.  It was cute, but most likely age inappropriate as it made him look like a great big infant in a little cream colored furry suit.  (I will make some pictures of this tomorrow.)

Anyway, as I was deciding that the furry sheep coat was age inappropriate, a look of frenzied determination came over Ivan's face, and like a flash of lightning he pulled the lollypop from his mouth and stuck it into the furry pile of the coat with all his strength.  It all seemed to happen in slow motion that Ivan stuck his lollypop to the coat, I saw the sign that said "you must purchase goods that you damage", the booth owner said "well, you were going to buy it anyway", and Ivan reached down and grabbed his little snap up pants by the cuffs and unsnapped them in one motion, before he took off running.

I managed to chase Ivan down (while wearing my leopard wedges AND my skinny jeans) and tackle him like a linebacker in the middle of the Junior League market aisle, where I got him strapped into his little monkey leash and back to the booth to pay for my damaged merchandise.  It was so unpleasant, I can't even tell you; the open laughter from spectators, the disdain from the many smart mothers who had hired sitters for this occasion.  On my current list of hatables is the one woman who said to me, as I was wrestling on the floor with my child, "I bet you wish you had gotten a sitter".  Really, terrible person, you think I wish I had a sitter?  Possible replies that I could not think of fast enough: "Not as much as I wish you would be struck by lighting right now", "You are the devil", "Your hair is ugly".  I never have the guts to be rude.

Anyway, Ivan left the facility with unsnapped pants, an exposed diaper, and sobbing while I carried him and pushed his stroller and toted along the big bag with his new big fluffy sheep coat.  When we got in the car, I looked at my sister and called a spade a spade and said that we should just probably go home.  Which we did.  I drove home while Ivan took a nap and watched Calliou.

My husband picked up takeout and I took a shower and ruminated bitterly about the events of the day.

Sunday turned out better as I went for a nice swim, did a bit of needlepoint and went to book club to discuss Rebecca.  Emily made soup for us and we had a lovely night!!