Monday: T.G.I. Friday's Exceeds My Expectations

Now, with a blog post title like today's, I am assuming that we all understand in advance that I did not work out today. For the most part, I feel pretty good about it. What I did do today, however, was a Herculean effort.

Ivan and I stayed at my parents' house last night with the idea that I would leave Ivan with them in the afternoon and accomplish my post-Christmas mall errands. For whatever reason, after Christmas, there always seems to crop up a dozen errands that must be tackled at the local mall or malls. After spending more time than usual at the mall in order to satisfy the conspicuous consumption of an American Christmas, it seems that I am pulled like a magnet back to the mall. It is as if there is a Siren song that I can't say no to, and I really need someone to tie me, like Odysseus, to the mast and ignore my pleas for release no matter the depth of my desire to acquire.

Anyway, I had no faithful crew to stop me, so my friend Robin and I headed to Opry Mills, which is officially one of the worst places in the world. It is, however, full of children's clothing outlets and a Forever XXI. No joke, Forever XXI has some fabulous finds. Their quality is surprising, their fashions are unexpectedly work suitable with a cardigan or turtleneck, and I LOVE IT!!! Before I tell you about my soul-crushing experience at F-XXI, I will mention that I bought Ivan a few shirts and some mittens.

At F-XXI, I found a plum colored satiny dress with razor sliced overlapping layers of plum colored satin that came above my collarbone. My description is not doing the dress proper justice, but suffice it to say that it was the loveliest thing I have seen on a hanger for $36.99. I could just see myself dancing about town wearing it to one party after the next. I often envision myself at the perfect event in the clothes I'm buying, which now that I think about it, are always mythical events that probably only characters on soap operas attend. My big events these days are threatening Ivan with a spanking at the McDonald's play place and picking up take-out from J. Alexander's.

So, back to my F-XXI tragedy. I attempted to try on my plum colored dress, but there was a line, approximately 50 yards long, to get into the dressing room. I was forced to skitter to a mirrored corner of the store and furtively try on my dress over my clothes, as WHO HAS TIME TO WAIT IN A 50 YARD LINE FOR A DRESSING ROOM. Anyway, I discovered that the dress appeared to be a good fit and was envisioning myself in a jaunty pair of heels and the dress dancing away at party that was maybe taking place in Paris on on East Egg. Anyway, when I pulled myself from my reverie, I looked at the line to pay for my great dress, and it was longer that the dressing room line and moving at a snail's pace. The last people in line were actually standing in the mall, mucking up all the pedestrian traffic. SO I GAVE UP. I decided that I would just order it online at home. At home, I found that it was not available on the internet. DEFEATED. I would compare my disappointment to that of Tom Joad (The Grapes of Wrath) when he came home from a miserable prison sentence to find that he must leave the family farm during the Dust Bowl.

Anyway, Robin and I wanted to have lunch together, so we headed to TGI Fridays. TGI Friday's is a place that I associate with desperation and cheese. I have not been there since the 2005 super bowl when I ordered potato skins and felt ill. Anyway, I ordered a pecan encrusted chicken breast salad. It was so good, I did not even need dressing. I am a big fan and would recommend it to anyone suffering the injustice of an Opry Mills shopping experience.

After lunch, I ran errands and met my parents and Ivan for dinner at my Aunt and Uncle's home. It was just great!!! We had a lovely time and headed home early as Ivan had the croupy cough, and we were concerned.

Spent evening managing the croupe. Will update you on conditions tomorrow!!