There are several reasons why I might be smoking crack today. First, after swimming over three miles yesterday, I woke up this morning and went to swim. Albeit, I did go late and only swam a 2000 or so, I still went. Workout as follows:
- 300 swim
- 300 pull
- 300 swim
- 600 kick
- 200 swim
After swim is when I started to seriously doubt my sobriety. Today was Morning Swim Christmas Lunch at J. Alexanders. Now, in my opinion, J. Alexander's is one of the most dependable restaurants in town. It is Winter, so they are having their seasonal braised cabbage, and I can't even tell you how excited I was. I was so excited.
Now, I had some foreboding before we arrived at J. Alexander's, as I knew that there was the possibility of a public meltdown. So, we arrived at J. Alexander's early, and I decided that we had enough time to go to Target. Now at Target, we had a relatively major meltdown when Ivan wrested himself from his stroller and threw himself to the floor. Now, at this point I gave Ivan a harsh talking to and stuffed him, stubbing, into this stroller and high-tailed it back to J. Alexander's.
There was no chance of a successful meal at J. Alexanders. There were seven adults having lunch, and Ivan either screamed, kicked, or wrestled away from me and sprinted through the restaurant throughout most of the meal. The waitstaff shot me several looks that I could only interpret as hateful and damning as Ivan sprinted between their legs and tried endlessly to get into the kitchen. When he was in my lap, he was screaming and when he was on the ground, he was running and screaming. When I strapped him into his high chair he took his decibel level up by 50% and ruined conversation for all diners within 50 yards. Why did I take him?? Why? Why? Why?
I wanted to go to lunch and eat their seasonal delicacies, but no, I treated myself and everyone for miles to a scream-fest of seasonal misery. I just wish I could even remember what my salmon and braised cabbage tasted like. I wish that Ivan had not grabbed my hand-wash only shirt with his french-fry greasy hands. I wish I had been smart enough to ask if Ivan could spend the afternoon with my parents or that I had gotten a sitter.
What I wish most of all is that I would stop deluding myself that any public outing with Ivan was going to go smoothly, that I could ever eat in peace, or that I could wear a cute outfit and not have it royally ruined or that I could wear a cute outfit that did not get pulled by Ivan so that it exposed some part of me that had best been left covered.
Hard times, friends. Tomorrow, I am going to devote myself to nothing higher than getting the rest of the Christmas cards in the mail and painting my nails.
The bright spot of today was that I received my "I LOVE WINSTON CHURCHILL" t-shirt!!!
1 comment:
your dear old Auntie will babysit at moments' notice.... sweet I can even pull doggies' ears and throw Christmas ornaments...
Post a Comment