Chess Squares: Get Thee Behind Me Satan

One of the great fallacies of an active lifestyle is that you can eat what you want. One look at the Clydesdale division of an Ironman, and you will realize this is not true.

At Hood to Coast, I ran 18 miles over the course of 24 hours, did some good yoga, and ran 4ish miles on the beach the following day. This is a reasonable amount of working out. It really is. This would be a huge day for most of America. However, let me run down my caloric intake with you, just for fun. You tell me if I gained or lost weight. I will start with you at 5:00 in the morning on Friday morning as I am about to leave Nashville on the plane and I will stop when I get back home.

• Friday Morning: 2 fig newtons, cup of coffee black, orange juice, starbucks vivano, 100 calorie snack pack on plane.
• Friday Lunch Denver Airport: Whole wheat bagel with smoked salmon, cream cheese and capers, bottle of water, Green tea and second 100 calorie snack pack on flight.
• Friday Dinner/ Grocery store in Portland: Cookie and two bites of grilled salmon as grocery sample. Two cookies and multiple handfuls of trail mix, pre-packaged turkey sandwich with cole-slaw, apple and doritos. (important information: at Hood To Coast you load up your van with all kinds of foods as you will be needing food during the 24 hours. You always get too much food, which means I eat handfuls and nibbles all day and never really feel truly hungry. Packs of M&M's that you would never dream of eating are suddenly eaten twice in a span of 24 hours and you wonder why you gain weight on the trip)
• Pre-Run Snack 1: Peanut butter/dorito bagel sandwich and an apple, and copious amounts of Gatorade and trail mix and banana chips
• Post Run Snack 1: more peanut butter/ dorito bagel sandwich, gatorade
• Post Run Snack 2: naked almonds and banana chips
• Breakfast Saturday Morning while parked in the van at the exchange: fig newtons, some bagel and peanut butter, though now, officially repulsed as have overdosed on peanut butter. Am overcome with longing for sausage and eggs. In miraculous twist of fate, a local high school equestrian team is selling breakfast burritos with eggs, rice, and sausage. SO, I ate one of these and a cup of coffee (though my hunger was questionable at this point). After this, and just because I could, I ate a bag of peanut butter M&M's the most fattening of all. Polished it off with some sweet potato chips.
• After this, I actually hold off until dinner, ooh, I take that back. I was sitting too near the cookies and ate one chocolate chip cookie and one oatmeal raisin cookie with naked almonds on top.
• For dinner, after the run when I had had a lovely shower, I had some (ok, a giant sized portion that could easily have fed an African village) delicious lasagna with polenta instead of noodles. It was amazing. Large salad. Much wine. Appetizers of brie and gouda. Brownie pudding for dessert and some blackberry cobbler.
• Brunch the following Sunday morning: Decaf soy latte, vegetable frittata, half a breakfast burrito, much fruit.
• Dinner, leftovers from the lasagna night before. I had a slightly smaller portion.
• Breakfast the following Monday morning: Decaf Soy Latte, Bagel with Cream Cheese and Smoked Salmon and capers
• I ate all airport snacks that were offered to me on the way home including ritz cracker and faux cheese sandwich snack that were a hotbed of processed deliciousness and had a vivano at Starbucks before we left on our final flight in Kansas City
• My parents picked me up at the airport and had a dinner of two fish filets, a salad, and roasted potatoes waiting for me at home. I also had two pieces of dove dark chocolate for dessert.

Question: Are any of you surprised that I gained weight? Anyone? Anyone? That Hood To Coast medal pictured at the top of the page is not only a tribute to my athletic prowess, but a tribute to my ability to put away food like an unattended puppy at a picnic.

So when I got to work today and their were homemade chess squares, I felt that I was embroiled in a temptation battle of biblical proportions. I had a chess square. Isn't it interesting how I have so much discipline in some areas, but none in others? NONE. Tomorrow, I start battling back onto my Superfoods lifestyle. I will tell you all about it.

Hood to Coast: Yazoo Growlers 7th out of 69

Such a great day for posting pictures. This year our team placed 7th out of 69 in the Mixed Sub-masters category!! We missed an award winning 5th place finish, by about 12ish minutes. We missed being sixth by about 7ish minutes. OK, I was not going to post all the results, but I am totally cracking up over all the team names, so I am going to have to post the mixed submasters list. While the "Great Bowels of Fire" team is not listed with our category, I would feel remiss if I did not mention them as they had an entire fart soundtrack belting from their sound system and seemed to pull into every exchange at the same time that we did, or worse, right after I got in the Honey Bucket (an Oregon Port-a-John) line, which always made me rife with giggles of shame. Here are some of the results for our category in which the names alone are worth the read: (especially the tribute to my favorite of all short lived television shows, Arrested Development, The Nevernudes)

Slug Hunters	20:31:15
Leapin' Lizards	21:21:21
Bandidos	22:39:34
The Fat Cheetahs	23:13:11
Fine Whine Too	23:52:03
It's All Gouda	23:58:00
Yazoo Growlers	24:05:52
Run n 4 Road Kill	26:02:28
NADS	26:11:48
Nunzilla	26:15:25
This Team Sucks	26:23:58
Bald and Rather Rickety	26:24:32
Relax..It Only Hurts At First	26:36:11
Runyer Roxoff	26:36:44
Burnin' & Chafin'	26:58:32
Yellow Fever	27:15:51
Ransom Runners	27:21:56
The Nevernudes	27:22:49
Team Fletch	27:23:20
Running Away W Neighbor's Spouse	27:26:22
Nightcrawlers	27:30:27
Rachel's Bright Idea	27:51:31
Bad Boys Chasing Good Girls	27:54:14
Twinados	27:54:29
Naked Love Pretzel	28:02:18
Six one half dozen of the other	28:09:10
The Kankle Bandits	28:11:25
Hot Heels	28:16:37
Runners Gone Wild	28:38:02
Van Inhalin'	28:57:01
One Leg At A Time	28:58:02
NIKE 9 LBS, 3 OZs	29:02:59
Who's That Smell?	29:35:43
The Tightie Whities	29:40:11
This Ain't Easy But We Are	29:43:23
The Balled and the Beautiful	29:56:55
Red Hot Chili Steppers	29:59:43
The Badonkadonks	30:16:37
City Slickers	30:22:16
May The Forseth Be With You	30:29:59
Grateful Tread Remix	30:30:29
Super Zeroes	30:31:36
Blood Sweat and Beers	30:35:01
Chicago Meets Portland	30:40:26
You Wish	30:42:18
Running Arizona	30:56:17
Todd's Redemption	30:57:22
Hot Asphalts	30:57:38
Methane Madness	31:03:21
Moms and Pops on the Run	31:09:33
Six Sweaty Chicks and their Disco Sticks	31:12:25

Hood to Coast: Team Yazoo runs 24:05 hotrollers included

Hello Friends

I have been gone for four days whole days. I have not seen a television, though I have had minimal access to a computer. In my absence we have lost DJ AM, and had some lovely weather has come through Tennessee. I have run Hood to Coast and had a really lovely time.

If I may refresh you, Hood to Coast is a race where you run three legs of a 197 mile relay race, which you are trying to complete in more or less 24ish hours to be competitive. It involves 12 runners, each runner running three legs. The runners are divided into two 6 person vans. Runner one starts at the top of Mount Hood and runs until they meet the second runner at a relay exchange, and then to the third runner and so on until you meet the sixth runner. During all runs the van is following along picking up the runner who is finishing and dropping the runner who is starting. Now, when the 6th van runner (me!!!) finishes, she hands off the baton to the first runner in van two (leg 7) and they start their legs in the same manner as van one, while van one gets some rest time. When van 2 finishes their runs, they must be met at the right time by van 1 to start the whole process over and so on until the last runner on van two crosses the finish line on the beach 197 miles later.

I ran legs 6, 18, and 30. Leg 6 was an almost eight mile leg that involved a good bit of uphill. I began running it at approximately 9:30ish at night and ran-sub seven minute miles (thank you very much). At about 1:00ish AM, my turn came around again for leg 18 and I ran a little over four miles through a particularly smelly patch of the Portland area. The course was quite hilly and uneven. My time dropped to slightly less than eight minute miles and it was not my most favored athletic moment. Following this run, I slept in the van until I woke up (several blissful hours later) to take a shift at keeping our heroic driver awake as we drove. I ran my final downhill leg 30 of 5 miles at around 12:00ish PM in the afternoon. I maintained 7:15 miles and was pretty proud of this considering the degree of my soreness.

After this, we packed up the van and headed to the beach to check into our beach houses and shower up before we met van 2 on the beach for the dramatic finish of the last of our runners. Our final time was 24:05, which is quite fast. We had group pictures made, and then moved on to let everyone else get ready for an amazing dinner at our beach house.

OK, all that explaining behind, let me tell you some quirks (to state it kindly) about traveling in a cheap rental minivan with me for 24 hours:

1. OH, honey, I OVERPACK. It is like a disease. I swear I showed up for a three evening excursion looking like Mariah Cary about to head out on a world tour. Make up, hot rollers, 6 sports bras, two pairs of running shoes, three possible jacket options, I don't even want to know how many bathing suits, swim caps, goggles, cowboy pajamas. Athletic options, casual options, my peeper sleepers, my monogramed fleece blanket, a towel dress, a sleeping bag, two novels, the September issue of Vogue, a book of New York Times cross word puzzles, and the kitchen sink. You name it, I brought it, just in case. It is a sickness. I arrived to live in a minivan for 24 hours with 5 other people and that much luggage. I need an intervention and a lesson in basic human consideration. That's all there is to it. If you invite me on a trip, you sit me down and monitor my packing, lest you have to ride on the roof of our rented car like a teen wolf to accommodate my luggage.
2. I am a sleeper. I like myself a good eight to nine hours each night. At Hood to Coast the idea is that you man up and stay up. You cheer on your teammates while they run at off hours of the night and you offer everyone the back seat to stretch out and catch some zzzzzs in shifts. You take turns, unless you are like me and you crawl into the back seat with your peeper sleepers and your monogrammed fleece blanket and your sleeping bag with the intention of a one hour cat nap only to wake up approximately 6 hours later as fresh as a daisy. I got better sleep in the back seat of that mini van than I did before I had a baby and my husband was out of town, and I had the whole king-sized bed to myself. I met the red rimmed eyes of my fellow team mates with guilt, yes, but also the realization that for me, it was officially the best Hood to Coast ever.
3. Nerd Alert: I have a love affair with crossword puzzle books. I have a vision of myself winning the New York Times Crossword Puzzle contest. I can get sucked into a Will Shortz crossword puzzle and lose myself in a word like "curmudgeon" that has fallen out of vogue, or looking up obscure actors that are desperately placed when there is a need for low-frequency letters. Beware of me on a trip; I am the girl who will try to interest you in helping me with all the sports clues and try to entertain you with anecdotes from Wordplay, the brilliant documentary about New York Times crossword puzzling. I might hound you about finding out the monetary currency of Saudi Arabia (the Riyal!!!!). Back slowly away, when I begin speaking of my frustration with clues that do not specify one or two word answers, because at this point I have lost all social reference points.

These three things are pretty damning, friends. Do you want me to go on your next vacation? Think about it long and hard. I would encourage you to help me pack, think about the sleep situation, and hide the crossword puzzle books. I am out there and I am vain, selfish, and nerdy, oh so nerdy. Think about it now, once you have asked me, there is no turning back.

Hood to Coast: 6:40 AM Flight

So, this picture is not from Hood to Coast. It is from the Tom King Half Marathon in Nashville last March. It was a good race and am pleased with the race pic. I am staying at my ride to the airport's house. This would be my parents, who should be canonized by the way, as they are taking me to the airport by 5:30 AM to make a 6:40 AM flight, and they are taking care of Ivan for four whole days and picking me up from the airport.

Pop Quiz: What would I be without my parents?

1. Homeless
2. Taking a cab to the airport
3. Paying a babysitter an astronomical sum of money to care for my child
4. Still paying off student loans

If your answer was "all of the above", then you are the lucky winner and should treat yourself to a Grab the Gold bar today.

Allan Horner, our Hood To Coast coordinator emailed us a list of things we needed to make sure we brought to Hood to Coast. It read as follows:

1. 3 large size ziplock bags
2. 3 sets of running clothes (shorts, shirt, socks, etc.)
3. Running shoes- some people bring two pair?
4. Sandals, etc for in between runs
5. Sweats, t-shirts or running warm ups- can be pretty cool at night and early am
6. Small or large towel for after running
7. Flashlight/headlamp
8. Reflective vest- these two items mandatory for running after 6pm
9. A smaller bag to keep all above running items in during the race.
10. Sleeping bag- van 2 (and plastic bag or sheet to lay sleeping bag on- put inside bag)
11. Stocking cap- for sleeping at night
12. Van 1 use towel to rest or sleep on during the day
13. Have toothbrush, paste, deodorant, etc handy and not in packed away bag
14. Camera
15. Sunscreen
16. Sunglasses
17. Casual clothes for Sat night/Sunday
18. Bungee cord (if you have one or two please bring just in case.)
19. About $20 cash per person for van food

I am at my parents house and I have forgotten my stocking cap, so I might have to borrow one from my dad. Miraculously, I remembered everything else on the list. I did forget Grab the Gold bars, which is a personal disappointment. It is the first time I will have traveled without them since discovering them four years ago.

Anyway, I am running leg six, as I traded leg three with Robbie. I am hoping it is manageable, though as is typical of me, I have not taken even a moment to glance at the topography. I am applying my motto, "I'm sure I can make it" to Hood to Coast this year as every year, as in every event in which I register to compete. Leg six, now that I am looking at the link I posted about leg 6, looks miserably hilly. How unfortunate. When Wood asked me to switch with Robbie, my reply was "whatever". Serves me right. Watch for future updates!!