Saturday: Learningpalooza, The Red Pony, and a new Necklace!!!

Today was one of those Saturdays that felt like a full time job. I started at 9:00 AM and finished at 6:00 PM. I gave a wedding shower for my fabulous babysitter this morning and then had to get to my fundraiser for Learning Matters: Learningpalooza. Both were things that I wanted to do, yet just wished they were happening on different days. I drove all the way out to Antioch yesterday to pick up petit-fours (none of which I have eaten 24 hours later. May I please have a gold star?). I also went to Party City, a terrible place, but I think I said that yesterday.

Anyway, I was out of bed this morning and ran with Ivan in the jog stroller. Then I got in the shower and got ready to head out to Katelen's shower, despite the fact that my house was in some serious disarray. The comforter was actually separated from the comforter cover, and there was not one bath mat on a bathroom floor. How do those things even happen?

Anyway, I got to the shower in my party skirt and assembled my salad and arranged my petit-fours. Several people commented that they were the best petit-fours of all. I wouldn't know, because I have not eaten one (for which I would like a gold star. Is someone getting my gold star??) . I was able to leave the shower relatively early so that I could get to the Learningpalooza.

Learningpalooza was a dinner, an auditorium of children's performers and an auditorium of adult performers. the adult performers used the sanctuary of the 2nd Presbyterian Church. The acoustics were great and we were totally lucky to have my cousin's husband, Daniel Tashian, perform for us. His music was great and he sounded great in the sanctuary. His song Country Life from the album High Society by his band, The Silver Seas is on every one of my running mixes. It refuses to get old. I recommend it!!

Also, at the silent auction I won a beautiful beautiful necklace by Patricia Miller that I am absolutely thrilled about. Her things are so lovely and I despaired of ever owning a piece of my own. Tonight, however, I am the outright owner of a rose quartz necklace. I am counting down the days until next year's Learningpalooza.

At home, we had dinner at the Red Pony in downtown Franklin. The food was great and since Ivan is staying with my parents, Elliott and I had dinner alone for the first time since our anniversary. I said yes to the Creme Brulee. Good Times!!! At home, I started watching The Duelists, with which I have a vague obsession. If it is on, I will watch it. Do I love the story, or Keith Carradine, or Harvey Keitel, or France in the Napoleonic Era, or costume dramas, or bloody sword fights? Toss up.

Friday: Sloan Manor is Still Under Construction

Ivan stayed with my parents last night, which meant that I slept until 7:45 AM and still go to swim on time. THRILLING. I had a smoothie and some tea in the car. At swim, Jaime and Annie were there, which was lots of fun. There was lots of kicking and talking. Workout as follows:

• 300 swim/ 200 pull/ 300 swim
• 4 x 25 IM @ 0:35
• 2 x 25 kick @ 0:35
• 4 x 50 swim IM order @ 0:55
• 2 x 50 kick @ 1:05
• 2 x 75 swim (back/ breast/ free) @ 1:15
• 100 kick @ 2:10
• 2 x 100 IM
• 200 freestyle @ 3:00
• 50 swim

So, the workout was not all that long, but I did get to work on my butterfly. I took a really long shower afterwards and got ready to head out and pick up petit-fours for the wedding shower that I am throwing for my babysitter tomorrow. That done, I went to Party City to get napkins and such. On the way to my parents house, Mom called and told me to pick up lunch because she did not have any good food in the house. Suggestions like this are all I need to send me running to a fast food establishment. I pulled right into Wendy's and ordered a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger with fries. Why is a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger so delicious? It is hands down my all time favorite fast-food burger.

At home, Ivan and I had a three mile run during which Ivan screamed angrily for most of the time. He screamed angrily because he is decidedly in a balloon phase. Early in the run, Ivan saw a hot air balloon and was furious with me for not running straight for it as the crow flies. As long as the jog stroller was not headed straight at the balloon, Ivan was screaming.

At home, Elliott came home with a sod-cutter and began a massive yard project at 6:30. The decible level was intense and I hurt for our neighbors that the Sloans like to start their yard projects at dinner-time. I guess it is better than 6:30 AM on a Saturday. Anyway, Elliott is leveling out huge parts of our yard so that it will all be even and we can assemble a cobblestone sidewalk and a fire pit. Will Sloan Manor every be finished?

Thursday: Run and Book Club

Today was book club Thursday. I was the host. I was the host last month, too, but no one came. Last month I road the trainer while I watched my Thursday night line-up. Now, tonight, I also thought that no one was coming, and as of last night, I was planning on riding my trainer and watching my Thursday night line-up. As it turned out, book club organizer, Melissa, forgot to send me the emails of the RSVP's, so at 9:30 last night, I found out I was indeed hosting book club.

So, this morning I hurtled out of bed and ran three miles with the jog stroller before tossing Ivan into the car to get to his swim practice. Swim practice for Ivan lately consists of him sprinting about the pool, writhing from my grasp and hurling himself into the pool. Often he throws in some intense coughing, that may or may not develop into full on choking. If it does develop into full on choking, he typically ends the choking by vomiting on me in the pool in front of the other parents. How do you feel about about that?

I find that that is the most disturbing part of parenthood for me: body functions. I might be talking to someone really cool, maybe someone I find attractive and Ivan might nonchalantly poop himself in a leaky, stenchy way. How uncool can you get? Last month at swim, I was talking to a really interesting man, he was complimenting my child, and Ivan responded to this positive reinforcement by vomiting on me. No shame, no apology, just vomit.

It is just so awful to be vomited on in front of other people, and just the retelling of the pool vomit incident reminds me of the countless other times that I have pooped on, vomited on, and urinated on in the brief time I've known my son. I was a popular girl at one time. I got a superlative in high school, and now I get vomited on in public.

It is a painful commentary on just how uncool I have become.

Anyway, I got home from work and threw some snacks together, and we gathered to talk about our book. We actually never really talked about the book, which was a great read: The Guernsy Literary and Potato Peel Society . We spoke about it briefly, but mostly chatted about other things and we committed to reading The Help. Also a good book.

Anyway, swim tomorrow and my weekend is going to be out of control, but we are baby-free on Saturday night!!!!

Wednesday: Double Swim

Today, Ivan and I made it to the pool on time. I had my smoothie and tea in the car. We had to leave half an hour early from swim today to make a play date in the park, so it was integral to be diving in at 8:30 AM, so I could at least get in 2000 meters. Nick was there today so I had a swim partner. Workout as follows:

• 200 swim/ 400 pull/ 200 swim
• 4 x 200 swim @ 4:00
• 4 x 50 drill
• 4 x 100 @ 1:45

So, I got in 2200 and made it to the park on time. Ivan ran about. All the slides were boarded up, so there was no sliding, which was a disappointment, but it was overall a reasonable park experience. Ivan napped and did not eat his dinner of mini-corn dogs, meaning that I had no choice but to eat them myself. Crazy Delicious. Also, I had a cookie. So, it was not a stellar Superfoods day.

When Elliott got home, I headed out to swim number two. Workout as follows:

• 300 warm-up
• 8 x 75 (kick-drill-swim)
• 20 x 25 swim with buoy
• 4 x 200 ascending
• 500 timed swim

So, it was a 2700 meter workout. I was expecting it to be a rather laid-back breast stroke off-season workout, but it was pretty intense. We had to dive into the pool for the start of the 500, and my dive is coming along, BUT, as per usual, I got flustered on the edge of the pool, belly-flopped, and knocked my goggles off, so that they filled with water. Because, I am ridiculous, I seriously fought to swim the 500 as fast as I could. I got clocked in the ear really hard while I was trying to pass someone, however, upon finishing, I had no idea how fast I swam it. Not the slightest idea. What was the point of all that, I ask myself. Must be better about knowing my times and such.

Watching The Onion Movie . I love reading The Onion. I have to say the movie is good, not great, but has a few clever moments. Armed Gunman is my favorite sketch. An appearance by Michael Bolton made me laugh out loud.

Hosting book club tomorrow night.

Tuesday: Hair Product Follow Up

So, today, I was out of bed at a reasonable time. I had breakfast and fed the baby. I made it out for a run and back home to have a brief chat with my husband's grandmother before showering and heading out to Bible study. Bible study was good. Ivan entered the nursery a model of docility and behaved while he was there. He took a nap that was too brief and I did a Gilad workout before heading into work, which was also uneventful. I am quite dull, right?

Anyway, since I am so dull, I will take this moment to follow-up on my recent hair care products bonanza. So, with my credit at the Cosmetic Market, I bought some Molton Brown Defining Caju Hair Texture Cream, and two products by Fekkai and some Brilliant Glossing Cream Conditioner and some Salon Glaze.

Here is my review and advice for all you swimmers. Swimming is brutal on your hair. I have fine hair, and it is not very thick. It damages rather easily and I have been advised that I should not use any conditioning products that contain protein or wheat byproducts. These make my hair dry and brittle. Anyway, the Salon Glaze by Fekkai did not do much for my hair. Thank goodness I bought the sample size. The Brilliant Glossing conditioner was a good conditioner, but I did not notice that it changed my life or gave me hair like a shampoo commercial. I will put it in my pool bag and use it after swim. The Molton Brown Caju Cream is generally good as well. It is a good styling cream that did not dry my hair. I generally think that all Molton Brown products are good, and they have, hands down, the best smell.

After all my product experimentation, I have decided that my old system was best. Use any good shampoo, I prefer a phyto shampoo. They have lots of good ones. I am currently using phyto citrus which is a color preservative. Their conditioners are highly protein laced, so I avoid them. Then I use the Bumble and Bumble super-rich conditioner. I then use a great cream by Phyto, called Phyto 9. If my hair is not dry, and I need to hold style, I might use a bit of Phyto Mousse. If my hair is really dry, the BEST BEST thing I have found is the Nou Nou pack by Davines. Sometimes, in extreme cases, I will sleep in a swim cap while wearing the mask. Let me just tell you how sexually attractive that is. I am sure that my husband looks over at my neon baldness with revulsion and anger. Anyway, usually I just shampoo my hair and then put on the Nou Nou pack and wear the swim cap over it while I shave and such. It never fails to soften and revitalize my hair. So far, my hair is still past my shoulders in length, and I am going to stay the course.

So, to recap, the hair products you must have in your possession are:

• A good shampoo by Phyto
• Bumble and Bumble Super Rich Conditioner
• Phyto 9 (conditioning cream)
• Nou Nou Pack by Davines

These things will keep you from having to get a bob or some other sort of boy cut. Good luck to you, you chlorine beleaguered masses of vanity. I count myself in your number.

Monday: I Was Given the Ditch by Hop the Visiting Swimmer

Ivan and I were up at a reasonable time this morning and were out the door to swim at 8:04 AM. I dropped Ivan at the nursery and was positioning myself to dive in at 8:33 AM. I was pretty thrilled with myself. NOW, the reason I got there early was because Hop the Visiting Swimmer swam with us on Friday and had promised to swim with us today (Monday). He was totally hard driving, and I got in a tad late and still swam 3700 meters with time to spare. So, as you can imagine, I was pretty psyched that Hop was going to swim with us today. I just knew I would get in 4000 meters. Anyway, VERY DISAPPOINTING, I arrived at the pool to find that Hop had taken up with another swimmer (a very competitive woman swimmer, who is so competitive that she does not swim with us) and was just freestyling his little heart out with her.

I was crushed. It is so nice to have someone to swim with, who pushes you just a little bit, but against whom you can be slightly competitive while swimming. Anyway, just to show Hop, who totally ignored us (though I felt personally ignored), I got in on time and swam on interval the whole workout. I was a lone soldier marching on through my disappointment. Anyway, I ended up with about 3500 meters, which is reasonable. Work out as follows:

• 200 swim/ 200 pull/ 4 x 75 kick-drill-swim
• 4 x 150 swim-drill-swim
• 4 x 100 kick @ 2:15
• 4 x 150 @ 3:00
• 4 x 125 @ 2:30
• 4 x 100 1:45
• 4 x 75 @ 1:30
• 4 x 50 @ 1:00

So, it was a good workout and a hard workout. I was starving when I got home and made the very poor choice of eating Ivan's uneaten mini-corndogs. Why is a corndog so delicious?

I then put Ivan down for a nap and did all kinds of phone errands like booking a doctor's appointments. I also cleaned and worked on reports. Ivan woke up way too soon and way too grumpy, so for work today, I had to pack up and park myself at the Starbucks to get anything accomplished. I ordered my decaf soy latte (this is the ONLY coffee drink I EVER get at Starbucks) and sat down to work. At the Starbucks in Cool Springs, you have to PAY for the internet. Was my overpriced coffee beverage not enough for you, Starbucks? Really?

So, I could only get half of my work finished based on my refusal to use their internet on the PRINCIPLE OF THE THING. When I talked to my brother on the way home, he encouraged me to always go to Krystal to work. The internet is always free and you can always get a Dr. Pepper. I will take his advice from now on. I will not be duped again by you, Starbucks. Anyway, I made Chris Carmichael's health Salmon Penne Alfredo recipe, one of my favorites, and had a mini-pack of peanut m&m's to melt away the cares of the day.

Sunday: Note to Self, be early.

Today was the aftermath of daylight savings time and way too much sugar. Way too much. Ivan woke up at his usual time, but then fell back asleep for another hour and a half. When we both got up, I loaded him up into the jog stroller for a three mile run before church. When we got home I managed to get he and I out the door to church only five minutes late. I managed to pick the worst day of the year to be five minutes late to church. Today was All Saints' Day. Now, if you are unfamiliar with the traditions of the Episcopalian church, then you would never know that you need to be early on this day. Very early. It is the day that multiple Christenings take place. MULTIPLE. This means that multiple families have asked their extended families to come and watch what is a great spiritual tradition.

I learned this this morning as I was frantically circling around downtown Franklin as if I were Luke Duke. I finally found a parking place THREE BLOCKS AWAY FROM CHURCH. You would have thought it was Manhattan. Anyway, I walked three blocks to church like a pack mule in heels loaded down with a diaper bag, Ivan's dog, and my handbag. For reasons unknown, I neglected to take his stroller, because I thought Ivan would enjoy the walk. He did enjoy the walk, at a snails pace. Finally at church, I deposited Ivan in the nursery and headed for the sanctuary, WHERE THERE WERE NO SEATS LEFT. NO SEATS. I had to walk back to the other end of the church with the other shamefully lates and watch the service on a satellite television in Otey Hall. When it came time to sing, the woman seated beside me could not hear the congregation singing on the satellite television and she asked if I would sing loudly, so she could hear me. While I sang my loud solo in my off key alto, she stared pointedly at me. A beautiful hymn written in London during war time, I can only imagine the author was revolving in his grave.

We finally made it home, Ivan had a nap and I managed to get myself to swim and start swimming early (2600 meters) so that I could get out in time to meet my in-laws at Little House on the Prairie. I have to say that what I learned tonight was that Melissa Gilbert can neither sing or dance with any great aplomb and this was all too obvious when she was paired with serious talent. BUT, I felt the musical as a whole played great homage to the books and there were several kids and adults dressed in period costume. So, overall a great experience.

Tomorrow, is my last day with Hop, the visiting swimmer and I am planning to put my anti-Superfood weekend behind me!!